Identifying and Achieving Your Goals in a Divorce

By Erica Christian

The circumstances giving rise to a divorce may be emotionally consuming making it difficult for you to think about what life will be like once the divorce is granted. It’s also easy to be overwhelmed with all of the terminology and procedures that come along with filing for a divorce.

As you begin this process, you must thoughtfully consider what your goals are in regards to the issues that will be addressed in your case. Identifying goals, both in the short and long term, is essential to developing the best strategy to obtain the results you want in a divorce.

Below is a guide that will help get you started on defining your goals and identifying how these goals can be achieved. Read more

4 Strategy Tips for Child Custody Battles

Great insight from an attorney’s perspective.

Courtesy of  James J. Gross

Sometimes in a child custody battle, a client will ask me, “What’s your strategy for my case?” I have to think about this for awhile because frequently I do things by intuition. That’s because through experience I know what has worked and what has not worked in prior cases. So here are some strategy tips for child custody battles. Read more

Can I Use Erratic Behavior Of Ex To Obtain More Custody?

Ask The Lawyer

Question submitted:

My ex and I have a four year old daughter, and my ex has now been evicted from two apartments with in 3 months. Now she is planning on moving in with the next door neighbor which she just met about three weeks ago. She is also behind on the daycare payments, which part of my support is supposed to pay for. How do I use this erratic behavior and irresponsibility to get more custody of our child?

Answer:

A parent’s inability to maintain a stable home environment for the child is one significant factor in any reassessment of custody arrangements.

The specifics of her changes in residence and any explanations she gives, as well as the benefits of your home environment, would be factors for a court to consider in making changes in the custody arrangements. The terms of your current custody arrangements and the specific requirements of the laws of your state as to timelines and criteria for custody reviews would need to be reviewed.

If the failure to pay the daycare results in your child being improperly supervised, that issue may also be relevant to the custody arrangements. However, the debt to the daycare would usually only impact the amount and nature of the support arrangements. You would need to review these issues with an experienced domestic litigation attorney in your state.

Richard Coffee is a Litigation Manager in the Belleville Illinois office of Cordell & Cordell. He is an experienced divorce attorney whose practice is devoted to domestic litigation. He is licensed in the State of Illinois and is admitted to practice law in the U.S. District Courts for Northern, Central and Southern Illinois. Courtesy of DadsDivorce.com

How Can I Stop Ex-Wife from Filing For More Child Support?

Ask the Lawyer

Question Submitted:
My fiance has a previous court order and when his ex feels like she needs more money, she petitions the courts.

Here is the situtation: my fiance and I have a daughter who is autistic. He has a 16-year-old child from a previous marriage.

Now, she lives with her boyfriend who she went with before the marriage broke up (my fiances best friend ). My fiance and I have been together 9 yrs and our autistic daughter is 7.

It seems like when his ex’s life seems uncomfortable she petitions the court for child support. My question is now that we have a child who is autistic, can he put a stop to her lying madness? She has lied to the courts and now his son is 16. There are expenses on his order he shouldn’t be paying, like child care.

He was told to go and file a petition but wasn’t guaranteed his order wouldn’t go up. Here is the hook: she only works 2 days a week. Her child is 16. He works and makes more than his dad every week. She sits home 5 days a week and collects on this kid. Here at home, we have 2 kids 7 and 8. He only makes $10.00 a hour.

The last time in court, when it was called to the judge’s attention that she only works 2 days a week, the judge was addressing this until her lawyer (who was a public defender) changed the subject so it was dismissed. What can the defendant do and what are his rights if he has a child from a recent relationship that is disabled.

Help! She’s taking him for a ride and the judge is believing her. We know for a fact she works under the table and isn’t telling the courts. She also says that she is going to college but it’s only one night per week! Every chance she gets, she petitions the court to bring him back, even when he is not late with a payment. She calls and complains and then they contact him and he has to go whether he is late or not, and misses a day of work which sets us back and they seem not to care about whether or not he has a major obligations. Help please.

It’s getting too deep and my family is suffering. If asked to move, we have no where to go. At this rate, the judge seems to be giving the mother her way. It’s not just her child first they should be looking out for, but the welfare of all the kids in question and they are not.

Answer:

I am not licensed in the State of Penn and therefore I cannot answer your question specifically to the laws of that State. I will attempt to give what response I am able to provide.

If the judge was inclined to be concerned that she is only working two days a week, his attention needs to remain focused on that issue. You want to impute her income. Often courts will impute the underemployed person their present wage at 40 hours per week in a situation as you describe.

You also appear to want the court to deviate from the support guidelines due to your child’s illness. In my jurisdiction, that is unlikely as we have a first family preference. The reasoning is that your fiance knew he had a support obligation toward two children and should have considered that fact before having additional children. However, if the ex-wife would attempt to raise his child support he could use the cost of your children to help prevent an increase.

If you believe that the mother is working for cash, look at locations where it is advantageous for her to claim her income is higher. This would be situations such as applications for credit cards, car loans, home loans or rent applications. Subpoena these locations. You can also look at her bank records and attempt to show the amount she deposits exceeds her claimed “on the books” income.

Courtesy of DadsDivorce.com
Submit questions to sdladvice@singledadlife.com

What Every Single Parent Must Do Before Taking Their Child On Vacation

By Jennifer Doncsecz

 

 

Ever since January of 2007 when the government made it mandatory for every US citizen flying to the Caribbean, Mexico and Canada to now have a valid passport, single parents have felt much more at ease when taking their custodial or non custodial child out of the country.

However, just because you carry your child’s passport doesn’t mean you no longer have to get a notarized letter of permission to travel by your child’s other custodial or non custodial parent.

In most circumstances, airlines will ask where the other parent is. If you are traveling to a heavily used route for single parents to “disappear ” with their non custodial child (Mexico, Dominican Republic, Aruba) you will be asked to produce a letter that is signed by the other parent and notarized.

This letter should include the other parents name, the dates of travel, the locations you are traveling to, the other parents phone number and signature with a notarized seal. If you do not have this, the airlines could refuse you board the planes or even worse, you could get to your destination only to find that customs/immigration will make you turn around and not enter the country.

Many of my clients sometimes call the airlines ahead of time to check to see if this is necessary, however, the airlines do not operate customs/immigration and may tell you the wrong information.

Play it safe and always have the other parent sign this very important letter. Even if you have joint custody or full custody and the court awarded you ownership of your child’s passport, customs wants to know that both parents are aware of the child’s leaving the country.

In some cases where bad feelings are present between the parents, this can prove to be a bit tricky, but isn’t it better than spending thousands of dollars on a vacation on a beautiful island and being turned away from entering the country?

If your child’s other parent is deceased, it is also a good idea to bring a copy of the death certificate. I once had a client, who in a panic, had to call their in-laws for a copy of the obituary of their deceased spouse to be faxed to the airline’s counter because they were being denied boarding.

In the ever present world of parents abducting their children and taking flight, the airlines are being held under much more scrutiny. So, don’t get burned before you even arrive at your destination–be prepared and know what is required!

If you want more information on single parents vacations, please feel free to email me at Jennifer@travelbyvip.com

Jennifer Doncsecz
President
VIP Vacations Inc
www.travelbyvip.com

#1 in the Nation for Group Sales to Sandals and Beaches Resorts!
Winner of the Caribbean Tourism Organization’s Romance in Travel Award in 2007!
Fox Philadelphia’s Travel Expert. Tune in each Friday to Good Day Philly and learn about the latest travel news!
Look for my new show on the Travel Channel every Sat. night at 10:30 pm-Cruises We Love!

Picture courtesy of Alex

What You Can Do When Your Ex Moves Away With Your Kids

Virtual Visitation

What can you do if your children are not living in the same city? There are times your kids are even living in a different state.  Not being able to see your children on a regular basis can be heartbreaking.

Due to the changing face of technology, single dads now have some tools to help you ease the pain. Seeing your children’s face is totally different than talking on the phone.

This presentation, courtesy of Dadsdivorce.com, provides a terrific overview of how to use internet technology, such as the web-cam, to close the distance gap between you and your kids.

What Is The Best Way To Fight For Custody?

Question Submitted:

My step daughter wants to live with her father and me, but the mother says absolutely not. She is 12 years of age and has terrible grades. What is the best way to begin our fight for custody, or is it a waste of time/money? We think we can make a difference in her future for the better.

Answer:

Only an attorney in your jurisdiction can provide you with an accurate analysis of your chances of prevailing on a motion to modify residential custody, but I can make a few general observations.

A twelve year old girl is not always the best judge of her own best interests. Laws in most jurisdictions support the idea that a child’s desires should not be the sole basis for determining custody. While your stepdaughter’s choice may be taken into consideration, she is still very young and I don’t think her wishes will be very persuasive in Court.

It does appear, however, that there may be some objective cause for concern as it relates to your stepdaughter’s current schedule, particularly in light of her poor grades. Talk to the school. Your husband should be an active participant in all parent/teacher conferences and should be vigilant of her studies and demanding of information from the school, even if he is not the custodial parent. Do not rely on your stepdaughter’s mom to do the work for you.

Changing residential placement is difficult to do and is often the equivalent of hitting a thumbtack with a hammer in the eyes of some judges. If schoolwork is the most pressing issue, can you request more time during the school year and relinquish more time in the summer? Can your husband carve out time to accompany your stepdaughter to tutoring? Can you request an additional evening or afternoon to increase contact and communication with your stepdaughter and monitor her schoolwork and socialization? Start small and be creative. If you can not work out a compromise then work with a local counsel to weigh your options.

Courtesy of DadsDivorce.com

submit questions to sdladvice@singledadlife.com

Jill Best is the Litigation Manager for the Cordell & Cordell, P.C. office in Overland Park, Kansas. She practices exclusively in the area of domestic relations. She is licensed in the state of Missouri, the state of Kansas, the U.S. District Court for the Western District of Missouri, the U.S. District Court of Kansas and the United States Court of Appeals for the Eighth Circuit.

My Ex-Wife Displays Contempt For Rulings On Visitation – What can I do?

Question Submitted:

We received a new court order for unsupervised visitation and my ex-wife did not show up with my son for my visitation. I went to the local police station to file a report and the police told me I had to go back to the judge who issued the revision. My lawyer said “No, that’s not the way it’s done.”

So now I’m confused and not sure as to who is telling the truth? So in effect, I’m not sure if I can trust my lawyer. I want something done! This is not the first time she has displayed contempt for the court rulings! What can I do?

Answer:

Both your lawyer and the police officers may be correct. Your attorney is correct that an order from the Court providing you with parenting time is an order just like any other and should be enforced like any other order. However, police officers are often hesitant to become involved in child custody exchanges and some departments even have developed policies which prevent officers from becoming involved in situations such as yours.

In short, I think absent assistance from your local police department, you should find an attorney who will file a contempt action against your ex-wife asking her to be held personally accountable for her failure to follow the Court’s orders. You may ask for attorneys fees, sanctions and compensatory (ie: make-up) parenting time depending on your jurisdiction.

If your ex-wife persists in a pattern of willful disobedience of the Court’s orders, you may also eventually have grounds to seek primary custody of your son.

Jill Best is an attorney with Cordell & Cordell, PC, a family-law firm focusing on men. She writes for DadsDivorce.com

My Ex-Wife Uses A Daycare I Don’t Approve Of. Do I “Have” To Take Him There?

Question Submitted:

My ex-wife uses a daycare that I don’t approve of and she has a contract with this provider. When I have my son, do I “have” to take him to that daycare also or can I use my current babysitter? Do i have to follow her contract with the daycare since I didn’t sign it and do not approve of them?

Answer:

The short answer is no, you do not have to take your son to this daycare if you disapprove of it. However, the inconsistency in your son’s schedule that results from bouncing from a babysitter to a daycare and back again may have more negative effects than attendance at the daycare alone.

Are the only options mom’s daycare or dad’s babysitter? Can you propose a third option in which you and your ex-wife research and consider another child care provider?

If you and your ex-wife have already gone back and forth in this regard or do not get along well enough to communicate as I have suggested, then I predict the current daycare situation will be the first of many significant parenting disagreements you experience. An eventual return to Court may be your only other option.

Jill Best is an attorney with Cordell & Cordell, PC, a family-law firm focusing on men. She writes for DadsDivorce.com

Did Wife Kidnap Kids? Dad asks for legal advice

Question:
My wife just left with our 3 daughters. She is an unfit mother and when I told her that I was getting a divorce because she is negligent and constantly endangering the lives of our kids, she waited until I went to work and left to go to her Mother’s house. Or at least that is where she says she is going. I called her Mom and she knew nothing about this. This seems like kidnapping to me. What should I do to correct this situation? Read more

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