When your child dies, it goes beyond “bad behavior”. Way beyond.

I agree with James, it takes more courage to carry on. I’ve never been in his shoes and hope I never know that pain but I have to think that through all the pain I would attempt to live my life in a way that honored my lost child. Not in a way that would disgrace him, his mother and his siblings.

I feel compassion for John Edwards but I don’t make excuses for mine or anyone else’s bad behavior.
Cathy´s last blog ..The Transformational Power of Emotional Pain

Whatever the root cause for John Edwards self destructive behavior, I hope he finds his way through it and is able to forgive himself and accept the forgiveness of those close to him that have been hurt by all this.

Normal guy makes the important point to make sure you feel like the relationship is going to be around for a while.

They don’t want to see me being sexual so as long as we give an appearance of it being platonic I would be OK introducing them after a month or so. If you’re lucky/ unlucky enough to have a string of partners I’m not sure that is such a healthy thing so would restrict to those people who are likely to be around for a while.

During that time I found there were a few things that were important to keep in mind.

1.) As you said, set up meetings quickly. Spending weeks on emails and calls just makes folks drift. Also, just because you can chat a lot on the phone does not mean you will even remotely get along in person.

2.) I disagree about coffee. That sets things up for what I now call “The Interview”. Either folks show up with their “list” of things that they want to find out, or on the other end of things, the lack of external stimuli causes quiet moments. Instead, make plans to go to a public event. A trade show, or a street fair are great, something that lets you walk and talk, and allows external influences to take your conversation to places you might not have expected.

3.) First date? Limit the length of time, maybe an hour or two, but set the duration in advance, and both agree to it. This way, if feelings are not mutual, there is a graceful “out”.

4.) Have some kind of food on the date. How someone eats, be it a hotdog, or a T-bone, speaks volumes.

5.) Make certain that your baggage is closed, and hers too. Way too many people are just too scared to be alone, and concequently they jump on the first opportunity that comes along. Making matters worse, they still have not figured out most of the issues with the past. There is no harm in a “practice girlfriend”, that lets you feel your way around out there, but make certain to keep it light. Take the time to make certain that you have the time to date, and the same with her. If the ex is still hanging around more than just for the kids, you might want to wait.

6.) Remember if you were married for 10 or 15 or 20 years, a lot has changed. Get used to it.

7.) Do your homework! Look at VH1 “Tough Love” Yes its a train wreck reality show, but you are going to meet women just like those on the show. Learn how to identify them, and which ones are “undateable”

Lastly, have fun. It took me 10 full years to meet the right person online (I met lots of great but not for me people, and some not so great, as well as several offline relationships over those years), but in the end, my sweetie and I have now been together since 2007 and this one had the right stuff from the moment we laid eyes on each other!