Single Dad Life » Positive Coaching Alliance

Why Her Son Pitched the Game of His Life and Never Pitched Again

Barry — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 03:54:32 +0000

If you’re a coach for a youth program and you don’t think you can make a difference, you need to read this parents story.

A son, all the talent and drive in the world, abruptly decides to walk away from the game he loved. Why? What happened? What caused him to decide he no longer wanted to play the game any longer?

Read this disturbing account posted by the Positive Coaching Alliance A Change in My Son

Share your comments and thoughts.

LeBron James Is Confused

Barry — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 21:38:08 +0000

LeBron James is confused about the meaning of “competitor.”

After the Orlando Magic eliminated James’ Cleveland Cavaliers from the NBA Playoffs Saturday and James refused to shake hands with his opponents, The New York Times quoted James: “It’s hard for me to congratulate somebody after you just lose to them. I’m a winner. It’s not being a poor sport or anything like that. If somebody beats you up, you’re not going to congratulate them. That doesn’t make sense to me. I’m a competitor.”

No. The ultimate competitor is the Triple-Impact Competitor who makes self, teammates and the game better. James is superb on levels 1 and 2. On Level 3, he fell down, badly.

James, admirable in so many ways, is sending a bad message to youth athletes: a competitor is too upset by losing to Honor the Game.

Former NFL coach Herm Edwards nailed it. “The game is sacred….When you are out on the field, you must remember your legacy and what you are representing.”

Triple-Impact Competitors are strong enough to make the game better by overcoming their disappointment to congratulate their opponents at the toughest time–right after they’ve beaten you.

– Jim Thompson, PCA Founder and Executive Director

What do you think? Share your comments.

Grown-Ups Get a Little Lesson In Sportsmanship

Barry — Sat, 30 May 2009 13:54:32 +0000

The Positive Coaching Alliance was featured in an article by Amy Gardner of The Washington Post, who attended a PCA workshop for sports parents at Burke Athletic Club and “caught them doing things right.”

Letting parents and coaches know the main word to remember is “FUN” sets the stage for a great clinic.

Read the article and then pass it along. Leave your comments and then go out with your kids and enjoy some great youth sporting events.

Should My Child Specialize in One Sport?

Barry — Mon, 11 May 2009 02:03:55 +0000

Positive Coaching Alliance National Conversation on Good Coaching

“The Specialist”

Situation – As practice is winding down, Coach Hastings motions you over for

a private conversation about your child, who shows enough raw

athletic ability to excel. Coach tells you your child has great potential

but should specialize as soon as possible, eschewing other

sports and training year-round, especially if you hope for a college

scholarship for your child. Coach Hastings is a technically skilled

coach who has had a number of athletes earn college scholarships.

Query

• How do you respond?

• What considerations inform your decision?

• How, if at all, do you discuss this with your child?

• Would your response vary depending on the age of your child?

• Is there a certain age at which specialization makes the most sense?

Response by PCA Founder Jim Thompson

As I speak to groups of parents around the U.S., I am more often asked about the pressure they feel to encourage their child to specialize in one sport than any other issue. Often the question is asked in a way that suggests that the parents feel they have no choice but to acquiesce to the pressure, or their child will fall behind.

Here are some thoughts about dealing with the decision to specialize (or not):

1) It’s up to you. There is no one else who can advocate as well as you for what’s best for the child. It is up to parents to resist the pressure to specialize and step up to the responsibility of doing the right thing for their child. If we can’t resist pressure on behalf of our kids, when can we?

2) And your child. Depending on the age of your child, you will want to involve him in this decision. As writers below have noted, a young child may not be in a position to decide this, but even for a younger child, involving her in the discussion has to be a learning experience for her. She can see how you evaluate and discuss the coach’s statement and learn from you a little bit more about how to make good decisions. If the child is older, you absolutely will want to bring him into the conversation, even to the point of allowing him to make the decision after considering all the different aspects, pluses and minuses, etc.

3) Coach Conflict of Interest. Relying on the advice of a coach, no matter how successful or skilled he or she may be is inadequate. Coaches may have a conflict of interest that can skew their perceptions. A coach may want your child to specialize in his/her sport so much that it affects his/her judgment about what’s best for your child.

4) Multiple sports help. If your only goal is to shape your child into a great athlete (which is not a good idea!), you would have your child experience multiple sports. There are many examples of professional athletes who say their success in their ultimately-chosen sport was enhanced by their playing other sports until a pretty advanced age. General sports skills such as balance and game sense can be enhanced for an athlete’s ultimate sport by experience with other sports.

Another reason for exposing your child to multiple sports is because you don’t know which sport will catch his fancy to the point where he wants to stay with it for a lifetime.

5) The age of 12. Dan Gould of Michigan State’s Institute for the Study of Youth Sports says the problem isn’t specialization, but PREMATURE specialization. Most athletes who attain an elite level specialize at some point, but it is much later than many coaches and parents believe. The research indicates that for most sports, specialization before the age of 12 is not a good idea.

6) Dangers of specialization. While year-round focus on a single sport may speed up the acquisition of skills, there are dangers that can outweigh that advantage. Chief among these are burnout and repetitive stress injuries. Enjoyment makes it more likely that an athlete will be able to maintain the long-term commitment to a sport (something that is harder than it may seem) that is needed to reach elite status. And there are few activities that don’t get old when you do them all the time. Year-round specialization makes burnout more likely.

Repetitive stress injuries also increase with specialization, which then can undercut motivation. It’s hard to be as excited about a sport when it hurts to play the sport.

7) Child-Driven v. Adult-Driven. I would be much more open to specialization if the child is the one driving the decision. If a child says she wants to focus on a single sport year round, she is less likely to burn out, for example, than if she feels she has to do it to ensure a place on a team. Commitments freely entered into are more likely to be enjoyed than commitments one feels forced into making.

Your child’s chances. Tom Farrey in his new book Game On: The All-American Race to Make Champions of Our Children cites the “jockocracy” of professional sports. So many professional athletes are the offspring of former professional athletes. The chances of your child becoming a professional athlete in the absence of physical gifts are not good. Recognize this and don’t put so many eggs in the pro career or college scholarship basket.

9) The good news. Helping your child have fun and learn life lessons from her sports experience is a good strategy whether she makes the pros or not. If an athlete loves playing his sport and has the talent to be a professional athlete, he will find his love of the sport a big asset. If your child doesn’t ultimately have the ability to go pro, at least she will not be deprived of the chance for a lifelong love of sports and physical activity. Focusing your emphasis on your child having a good time with sports and taking away life lessons will benefit him in any event.

– Jim Thompson, PCA Founder

Is Winning An Excuse For Yelling?

Barry — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 04:39:33 +0000

Here is an interesting case study from The Positive Coaching Alliance. What are your thoughts?

Coach Coates is a yeller. He yells constantly during practices and games. He yells at his players and criticizes them when they do things wrong.

He even yells when they seem to be doing things right. His teams consistently have winning records, and as far as you can tell, the players seem to handle the yelling without getting down on themselves or each other.

• Is Coach Coates a good coach? Why or why not?

• Would you want your child to play for this coach?

• Does his winning record excuse his yelling?

• Would your answer change depending on the age of the athletes?

What is the Positive Coaching Alliance

Barry — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 12:35:19 +0000

Founded as a non-profit within the Stanford University Athletic Department in 1998, Positive Coaching Alliance (PCA) has the mission of “transforming youth sports so sports can transform youth.” To that end, PCA has conducted roughly 6,000 live group workshops nationwide for more than 300,000 youth and high school sports leaders, coaches, parents and athletes. Workshop attendees have helped create a positive, character-building youth sports environment for more than 3 million youth athletes.

PCA has the support of elite coaches and athletes on a National Advisory Board, including National Spokesperson, Los Angeles Lakers Coach Phil Jackson; NBA and NCAA Champion Coach Larry Brown; Former University of North Carolina Basketball Head Coach Dean Smith; Kansas City Chiefs Head Coach Herm Edwards; Former Senator Bill Bradley; NBA Player ShaneBattier; NFL Hall of Famers Ronnie Lott and Tony Dorsett; and Olympic Gold Medalists Jennifer Azzi, Ruthie Bolton, Nadia Comaneci, Bart Conner, Joy Fawcett, Dot Richardson, Summer Sanders and Kerri Strug.

As a proud PCA Champion, SingleDadLife.com and it’s founder hope you invite us into your league or district for training on how to become a Certified PCA Partner. For more information about how to schedule a Training for your Coaches and Parents, visit www.positivecoach.org

Winning and Positive Sports Parenting Actually Go Together

Interview with Jim Thompson, author of Positive Parenting & Founder & Executive Director of The Positive Coaching Alliance