Domestic Violence Isn’t Necessarily What You Thought

By Matthew A. Breddan, Esq.

When you hear the words “Domestic Violence” what victim comes to mind? When you do a Google Search for “what is domestic violence,” the very first link is titled “Web Definitions for domestic violence.” Its definition states: “violence or physical abuse directed toward your spouse or domestic partner; usually violence by men against women.” This definition clearly shows a “bias” against men .

Under California law, Domestic Violence is defined by statute as “(a) Intentionally or recklessly to cause or attempt to cause bodily injury. (b) Sexual assault. (c) To place a person in reasonable apprehension of imminent serious bodily injury to that person or to another. (d) To engage in any behavior that has been or could be enjoined pursuant to Section 6320.”

California Family Code § 6211 states “Domestic Violence as abuse perpetrated against any of the following persons: (a) A spouse or former spouse. (b) A cohabitant or former cohabitant, as defined in Section 6209. (c) A person with whom the respondent is having or has had a dating or engagement relationship. (d) A person with whom the respondent has had a child, where the presumption applies that the male parent is the father of the child of the female parent under the Uniform Parentage Act (Part 3 (commencing with Section 7600) of Division 12). (e) A child of a party or a child who is the subject of an action under the Uniform Parentage Act, where the presumption applies that the male parent is the father of the child to be protected. (f) Any other person related by consanguinity or affinity within the second degree.”

This last definition is clearly more gender neutral than the first, and the California Legislature also defines Domestic Violence as violence against any children of either party.

There is a large segment of academia that believes the number of men who are victims of domestic violence is far greater than the numbers being reported. These individuals postulate that there are a numerous reasons for the under-reporting, not the least of which is the stigma associated with a man being “beaten” by their female counterparts.

• The incidence of domestic violence against men appears to be so low that it is hard to get reliable estimates.

• It has taken years of advocacy and support to encourage women to report domestic violence. Virtually nothing has been done to encourage men to report abuse.

• The idea that men could be victims of domestic abuse and violence is so unthinkable to most people. Many men will not even attempt to report the incident.

• The counseling and psychological community have responded to domestic abuse and violence against women. Not enough has been done to stop abuse against women. There has been very little investment in resources to address the issues of domestic abuse and violence against men.

• In most cases, the actual physical damage inflicted by men is so much greater than the actual physical harm inflected by women. The impact of domestic violence is less apparent and less likely to come to the attention of others.

• Even when men do report domestic abuse and violence, most people are so astonished, men usually end up feeling like nobody would believe them. It is widely assumed than a man with a bruise or black eye was in a fight with another man or was injured on the job or while playing contact sports. Women generally don’t do those things.

In 1997, Professors Martin Feibert and Denise Gonzalez, both from California State University, conducted a comprehensive study on women for perpetuating violence against their male counterparts. Approximately 30% of the women surveyed admitted to physical aggression against their male partners. The reasons given, however, were remarkable, to say the least.

Of the top five, the most prevalent reason given was “My partner wasn’t sensitive to my needs.” Coming in at a very close second was “I was trying to get his attention.” The next three on the list were: “He wasn’t listening to me;” “My partner was being verbally abusive” and “I didn’t think I would hurt him.” While many people believed that women mainly “fought back,” the reasons given in the order of frequency, clearly dispels this notion.

Even the latest fact sheet from the Centers for Disease Control (partly from crime-based data) states: “In the United States every year, about 1.5 million women and more than 800,000 men are raped or physically assaulted by an intimate partner” (i.e., 36% of the victims are men). Unfortunately, the DV industry has covered up female violence for decades for purely ideological reasons. (Kelly, Linda, “Disabusing the Definition of Domestic Abuse; How Women Batter Men and the Role of the Feminist State,” 30 Fl. St. U. Law R. 791, 2003,)

Domestic Violence is a societal ill that affects both MEN and women. Awareness, public acknowledgement, new definitions and changing the social stereotypes of who is abused will also help end Domestic Violence. The Charleston Gazette quotes Marc Angelucci of the National Coalition for Men, “We are not trying to belittle women who are abused, we’re trying to raise awareness that men are also victims .”

It is my goal to achieve the best possible results for my clients and in the process, ensuring that the children are not used as “pawns”, or bargaining chips to accomplish a goal or agenda of either party.

Originally from New York, I moved to California in 1983. After finishing High School in Woodland Hills, I attended California State University, Fullerton, where I obtained a Bachelor of Science in Criminal Justice with a minor in Sociology. Thereafter, I obtained my J.D. from University of La Verne, College of Law, and have been in practice ever since.  http://matthewbreddan.com/

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1. http://www.oregoncounseling.org/Handouts/DomesticViolenceMen.htm
2.Tony Rutherford; Huntingtonnews.net Reporter; October 9, 2009 Article titled “Kanawha County Judge Rules West Virginia Domestic Violence Rules Discriminate Against Men” http://www.huntingtonnews.net/state/091009-rutherford-statetdomesticviolence.html The primary focus of my practice is all aspects of Family Law, from nuts to bolts. In addition, I serve as the family law mediator for the Superior Court of the County of Los Angeles, primarily in the San Fernando Branch court.

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