How Do I Fight My Ex Wife’s Use Of Parental Alienation?
September 24, 2009 by admin
Filed under Ask the Lawyer
Ask The Lawyer
Question submitted:
My ex is using a form of parental alienation on our daughter. My daughter and mom refuse to pick up their phones to communicate with me. I text, email, and call to no avail.
It has been almost six weeks since I have spoken to, or seen, my daughter. I have joint custody and a visitation schedule of a couple days a week. My daughter is almost 16. What is the best way to handle this? My goal is to preserve my connection to my daughter.
Answer:
I suggest dividing the issues into your ex-wife’s conduct and the possibility of your daughter’s attitude being a factor of her age.
Your ex-wife can be held accountable through the court for compliance with any terms in your joint parenting agreement or other court orders that address telephone or electronic contact. If your court documents did not address telephone or electronic contact, you may need to seek court modification to include such provisions.
You advise that you have regular visitation rights but have not seen your daughter in six weeks. If your visitation is being impaired by your wife’s conduct or failure to act, enforcement proceedings may be warranted.
Generally, the parents must comply with the visitation schedule regardless of the desires of the child and a claim of visitation interference may be warranted. Consulting with a domestic relations law firm, such as Cordell & Cordell, would be the first step to determine what rights are encompassed by your court documents and what additional rights you might reasonably pursue in a court proceeding.
Your daughter’s age and status as a child of divorce may also be at issue and counseling with your daughter may be appropriate.
Under your divorce, you may be required to first discuss father-daughter counseling with your ex-wife as part of any agreement to mutually discuss with your ex decisions regarding your daughter’s health care. Failure to reach an agreement on the issue with your ex-wife may require court proceedings to require your ex-wife’s cooperation in making your daughter available to attend counseling.
Richard Coffee is a Litigation Manager in the Belleville Illinois office of Cordell & Cordell. He is an experienced divorce attorney whose practice is devoted to domestic litigation. He is licensed in the State of Illinois and is admitted to practice law in the U.S. District Courts for Northern, Central and Southern Illinois. Courtesy of Dadsdivorce.com
Submit questions to sdladvice@singledadlife.com
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Your ex may be guilty of giving your daughter the option of communicating and visiting with you when it should not be an option. There is a good chance that she is misguided in the belief that she should not force your daughter to visit or communicate.
My children were very angry with their father. They wanted nothing to do with him. I took them to therapy, the therapist told me not to force them to be with or have a relationhship with him.
BIG MISTAKE! After recently reading a book on Parental Alienation I now realize that the therapist and I allowed my children to make a decision based on emotions instead of logic. A decision they were not equipped to make.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, the ex in this case may be guilty of the same thing I was…dealing with an angry child and trying her best to do what is right for her child. Sad thing is, in our attempt to do what is best we can, at times, do our children harm.
If you can’t communicate electronically use the post office. Send her cards and letters weekly reinforcing your love for her and desire to see her. If that doesn’t help her come around use the court system.
.-= Cathy Meyer´s last blog ..The Frog & The Scorpion: An Enlightening Fable For Those Divorcing =-.
six weeks. .try 2 years. . my daughter is a completely stranger now, I lost her forever.
Try the courts? what a big laugh. I have spend all my savings on 3 different attempts and no one could do anything for me.
I have called her everyday for a whole year and she never answered the phone.
The last time we were in court, she didn’t even acknowledged me.
What am I supposed to do now. .force her to like me?
You know, recently it was on the news about a child that was kidnapped and found years later after becoming an adult. . .everybody felt so sorry for her and the whole world was talking about this case. .my ex-wife has done the same thing to my daughter . .she has kidnapped her brain. .but no one seems to care one bit.
My daughter is dead. . and I didn’t even have a funeral!