Did Wife Kidnap Kids? Dad asks for legal advice
July 21, 2009 by admin
Filed under Ask the Lawyer
Question:
My wife just left with our 3 daughters. She is an unfit mother and when I told her that I was getting a divorce because she is negligent and constantly endangering the lives of our kids, she waited until I went to work and left to go to her Mother’s house. Or at least that is where she says she is going. I called her Mom and she knew nothing about this. This seems like kidnapping to me. What should I do to correct this situation?
Answer:
If it is your wife’s intent to remove the children from your custody and purposefully fail to disclose her whereabouts and the whereabouts of the children in an effort to deprive you of access to the children, then it is possible that you have a kidnapping case on your hands. To correct this situation, you should first contact the police and advise them of the situation if for no other reason than to document your wife’s actions. Further, you should make arrangements to follow through on your concerns about the custody of your children by filing your petition for divorce and seeking temporary custody orders if they are available to you in you jurisdiction. As your litigation progresses, I would caution you against unnecessarily sharing information with your spouse or advising her of your future plans until you have consulted with your attorney.
Turning to your more substantive concerns, it appears that your wife stays home to care for the children alone while you are away at work. I am concerned that your allegations that she is unfit and negligent may be somewhat diluted by the pattern of conduct you appear to have established, namely, that you allow her to watch the children unsupervised on a regular basis. My clients often tell me that they have left their child(ren) with a spouse whom they claim to be unfit at the time of the divorce because the family could not afford daycare. While I am sympathetic to that situation, your children’s safety should come before all other considerations, financial or otherwise. Find alternative childcare.
Question:
I want to see my kids. My ex and I separated (never married) and she will not let me see my kids I cannot afford to pay for a court case. I have been having a hard time and I was in jail for a time and I am behind on support. I am trying to get back on my feet and I will pay her for support as fast as I can. She will never allow me to see them willingly. I have never been acused of any abuse and everyone knows I am a loving father. I do not have a place nor money. I want to see them and work to be a provider again, My kids are the most important thing in the world to me and I will do anything to be a dad again. Where do I start?
Answer:
Without an order providing you with custody rights, you can enforce visitation with your children. Although most jurisdictions do not allow a custodial parent to refuse the non-custodial parent access to the parties’ child(ren) because the non-custodial parent is behind on child support, you must first have an order establishing your custodial rights. If you do not have the funds to seek a private attorney, your city or state may provide free or reduced rate legal aid services for qualified applicants.
Jill Best is an attorney with Cordell & Cordell, PC, a family-law firm focusing on men. She writes for DadsDivorce.com
Submit your questions to sdladvice@singledadlife.com
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I am a man and I have sat and watched my best friend lie and gain custody of his children. Maybe I am violating the code of honor here. He has no idea how to raise them. I know I am his best friend. I lost my girlfriend because she said should stand by and watch him destroy those children. They receive no nuturing or any real mental support. He just thinks being a dad is paying the bills and telling his ex-wife what to do. The little one is even autistic and he pretends he has behavior problems because of his ex-wife and he whips him constantly until he just falls asleep from exhaustion. I wanted to speak up and tell the court all the lies and people he had lie for him but I didn’t want to lose my best friends of 15 years. But she was a good mother and she just wanted a divorce from him because of his cheating and he didn’t want to pay child support. Those poor kids I feel responsible. I lost my girlfriend because of it also. I also know of another friend of mine that “accidently” let his autistic son see a porn video so that he would go home and say things so that his mother would call CPS and then he would automatically get the children because that is how is in the USA now… so he says… but it worked! Maybe I am too femine, but this is wrong, these children need mothers and just because my friends don’t want to pay child support there is something wrong if these two were able to get away with this and rip those beautiful children from their loving… and I do mean loving mothers and they should have never lost those children to my friends. (I knew them and their wives for over 15 years, they WERE good mothers… and I actually feel responsible for allowing or supporting them.) What can I do?