Rights as a father with joint custody…
April 20, 2009 by admin
Filed under Ask the Lawyer
Question:
I am writing to inquire about my rights as a Father with joint custody of my 8 yr old son. My divorce was finalized in 2003 and since then my ex-wife has given up large portions of her custody with our son. I have gone from having only 2nd and 4th weekends and Thursdays, to now having him wed night, all Thursday, and Friday mornings + 1st, 3rd, and 5th weekends. As you can see has my son with me the majority of the time. My ex-wife has moved homes 3 different times since the divorce, and my son is now in a new school that has proved to be quite horrible. I have stayed in the same home my son was born in, there is a wonderful school where his friends and step siblings go to just down the street from our home and my ex wife refuses to let him go to this school because she claims its “too far for her to drive”, mind you my only concerns are for my sons safety and education. Everyone that I speak to says that with the amount of visitation I have that I should already be his primary custodian and be able to make those decisions, secondly I was also told that by giving up as much of her visitation as she has that there should be a reduction or dismissal of child support I am paying. I am not as much concerned about the child support issue but the question does stick in my mind often, mainly I don’t like the idea that I have no say in my son’s life as his mother throws him around from house to house and now has him in a substandard school only because its “close to her”
Jeff in Texas
Answer:
I am not licensed in Texas. You should always consult an attorney in your state to obtain legal advice concerning the laws of your state. I routinely advise my clients that the court’s order should reflect the schedule that is being followed. It sounds like the court order in your case does not do so. Custody can be modified if there has been a substantial change in circumstance. The fact that your child spends so much time with you, mom is unstable and child is attending a subpar school may qualify as a substantial change. At the very least, the court should modify the order to reflect the time you have the child and adjust your support. It is important that you document the time your son spends with you. If you have not already done so, I recommend keeping a calendar of all time he is with your. Before filing any modification with the court, consult an attorney. It is important to speak with an attorney familiar with the Judge presiding over your case.
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While I cannot speak of what to do in your situation, I certainly know exactly how you feel. I am in nearly the exact same situation and I have been thinking long and hard about consulting a lawyer about reducing/eliminating my child support and/or gaining physical custody over my ex-wife. The system is built without checks to make sure that the child’s welfare is being taken care of, so I taken it upon myself to sacrifice quite a bit to make sure that my daughter doesn’t know there is any difference in her lifestyle by nearly completely supporting my ex-wife (paying higher than normal child support, paying for ALL daycare costs, providing medical insurance and paying all of the associated costs of those, etc.) while having physical custody of my daughter literally 65-70% of the time.
Maybe it’s time for both of us to just take our ex’s to court, no matter the monetary cost, to do the best that we can for our children to prevent someone else from taking advantage of the poorly designed and heavily biased system.